spiritual blessings

Just attended mass and with what happened to me this morning, i think it's just what i needed.

The priest said that during the lenten season (which will basically start next week, ash wednesday) God gives out a lot of blessings. And i started thinking about maybe God will finally allow me to win a lottery, or get a new job or better yet start a business, have a house and lot and a car (though the last two can wait). These are the things i've been dreaming about. These are the things i believe that would take care of all my problems. Hey, these are the things i need! the things everyone needs to enjoy life! Then the priest continued and said that God gives out not material blessings but spiritual blessings. And my spirit sank. Then i realized that's precisely the reason why i need God's spiritual blessings... especially now.

I used to be close to God, but then i started being busy and later on i'm just always tired... so tired that my prayers are becoming shorter every day--because i just got to have more sleep or more time to imagine what i want. I guess i need to slow down, look back and ask God to walk with me again.

-chebong