The stress of being fertility-challenged

I came across an article written by Lani Montreal. I don’t really know who she is, but I relate well with her words.

Fertility IS a very personal thing for me too. I can’t help but cry every time I hear of someone pregnant. Don’t get me wrong. I love babies. Every time I see one, I smile… I long to touch them and play with them and sometimes to those I see on the streets, care for them. It’s just saddening to think of others having them while we are having such a hard time to make just one. What bothers me more however, are the way people around us are asking how our baby-making project is going on or they give us unsolicited advice and tons of comfort words which do not really serve its purpose… at least not for me. It gives me more stress to answer them or to smile and nod at them than anything about getting pregnant. It is so stressful that I started to detest going to gatherings especially with relatives or even go to work.

Yes, I am a fertility-challenged woman. It was hard for me to believe it then but I have accepted it now. Buboy and I have been married for more than three years and we’re still trying to make our first baby. We have sought the help of modern medicine, alternative medicine and of course God. We tried everything of what our resources can handle. Yet, our little curly-haired gift has not yet arrived. We have not given up though. We are not giving up. Buboy said we are going to be mom and dad someday, even if it means having to adopt. And that is fine by me. And that should be fine with others too, right? Frankly, I am starting not to care.

-chebong

Rest in peace Ninang Baby

My Ninang Baby passed away last Monday, October 15, 2007. She was buried today.

Ninang, i know you will finally get the rest you deserve with God.

Dear Lord, please keep my Ninang in your grace along with the others who departed in Your name.

-chebong

Being a professional writer

A few months ago, during the start of my long leave, I wrote here that one of things I wanted to do during my hiatus from regular work is to write… anything! Several times I thought I will be able to fulfill this goal. But it wasn’t until last week when I finally got a real chance to write… professionally. Okay, it wasn’t something that pays well, yet I get paid doing it so I call it writing professionally. Please bear with me. Besides, I had to take a really long writing test to be accepted, though only as a probationary writer. The thing that excites me however is the fact that after submitting my first batch of articles, the head editor gave me another batch to work on. I mean, that should say that I did pretty well, right? I’m really glad to be doing this, if only to hone my writing skills. Buboy thinks my writing has really improved. That, coming from someone I look up to when it comes to writing, is really something for me. He’s been very supportive from the start, never doubting my skill. That’s my husband! Maybe someday I’ll even get to write a book, something that I have always dreamed of. There’s no harm in dreaming… and of trying.

-chebong