opening door to new adventures

Several days ago my husband laid out an option that he wants me to think about... going abroad. I readily answered him that i will go with him wherever he wants to go, i just want us together. He said i ought to think about it first before i give a definite answer. He pointed out that there are a lot of things i have to consider like my family, especially now that tatay is not getting better.

I have been thinking about it. And with my declining interest in my current job, i am seriously considering it. Though of course Buboy is correct, i should consider other things that we will leave behind, not only my work.

Some of the reasons why i hesitate to move are:

1. i am afraid of being away from our family especially with the health status of both of our parents, the emotional stability of my brother, the fact that mama & papa will be left alone, and the overall support (emotional, presence, financial sometimes, etc.) that we give our families

2. i am not certain of what will happen to us there (wherever it may be) and it somehow scares me; i am not sure if i will be successful somewhere else

3. i want to hold onto the dreams we started for here, the lot we're paying, the house we'll build, etc.

4. i am scared to live without household help (yes, this one is too shallow even for me).

But just knowing that Buboy will be beside me is a very big reassurance already. I mean, we've been through a lot since we got together and i know that we will be able to pass through anything together. He is my source of strength and i hope i am able to do the same for him.

So am i ready? I don't think i'll ever be completely ready. But given a chance, i will take on the opportunity of taking on a new adventure, in a new place with my Buboy. Afterall, life is all about change, and since i want to live my life, i should be ready to embrace change. I am sure we'll make it wharever God places us... together.

-chebong

fragile things and fantasies

At last! I have a copy of the latest book of neil gaiman - fragile things. It's actually a collection of short stories and poems. We got it from NB Bestseller. We found this new store at galeria when we were strolling after 2 movies (number 23 and ghost rider) last Saturday. We noticed a new, and bright book store which happens to be owned by National Bookstore too. Funny how Buboy and i get excited everytime we discover a new bookstore:)

After all the fuss, i was not disappointed. I like how neil tells his stories. It's like bedtime stories being told directly to me. In his introduction, which is rather long because he introduced every story and poem in the book, there was something that touched me: "...the peculiarity of most things we think of as fragile is how tough they truly are... even dreams, the most delicate and intangible of things can prove remarkably difficult to kill." I believe this to be true. It's hard to let go of a dream because when one of our dreams die, part of us die with it.

We were also able to buy a vcd of mirror mask, also written by gaiman which was made into a movie by the jim henson company. It's actually a children's story, i.e. for kids and kids in us:) It's good to watch fantasies now and then. It brings back the imaginative side in me which I'm afraid is slowly dying.

-chebong

baby blues and loving husband

Last night while fooling around with my husband (we seem to have gotten into this weird habit of fooling around, tickling each other before we go to sleep), i got to appreciate (again) that what we have is a pretty good married life... And that we are happy most of the time when not pressured to have a baby. I think that if i am younger, i would not be too worried about being married for almost three years and still no baby . I think that the pressure mostly come from the fact that i'm almost in my mid-30's and i have pcos.

Sometimes i get to thinking that if we got married earlier, i would not be this pressured because we'd get more time. But then again, having a baby is not anyone's decision, it's God's. Besides, if we got married earlier than we did, i don't think we'll be as strong now.

Whether God will give us a baby (actually i was hoping HE'll give us four) or not, i am thankful that HE gave me my husband. Like what my good friend said "...at least you know Buboy really loves you for the woman that you are, not because of what possibilities you can give him... that may not seem enough sometimes, but not every married woman can claim that."

-chebong

ash wednesday and bookworm

Today is Ash Wednesday so we went out to celebrate the mass during lunch time. We had ashes, from the burned palaspas, put on our foreheads in a cross sign. This symbolizes that we are mortal and that we came from ash and will go back to ash. I hope Buboy and i will be able to be closer to God during this lenten season.

On another topic:
Buboy and i went to fort last night and we came upon Bookworm (a different bookstore) a small specialty bookshop. We inquired about good omens and fragile things, books by neil gaiman which i was trying to buy through amazon. We reserved a copy each of the books. The owner said it'll be available by March. Good thing too because i was not successfull in ordering them in amazon. Aparently, Philippines is not included in the countries they ship to. Well, i know i'll be able to find something that will ship here if i search enough. But why bother when i can buy it here without all the hassle? I guess internet transaction is not for me yet. The only thing i regret not getting is the comic book marvel 1602. I was trying to get it for Buboy sana. My husband is a big comic book fan and i'm proud of it.

I included the site of neil gaiman here in kurly links not only because Buboy loves his works and i'm eager to find out why:o) but also because i was amused when i read through his site. The guy is brilliant. I can't wait to get my copy of his books.

-chebong

trying online purchasing

I signed in for an amazon account yesterday. This is so that i can buy "good omens" by neil gaiman. I really want to read one of gaiman's work and my husband who's read six of his novels suggested i start with this particular book. However, neither national bookstore nor powerbooks have it. I am forced to try the internet! I guess i really need to change some along with the times:)

The most i was able to do yesterday was create an account and signed in. Well, i browsed to check if there's the item i want to buy. I wasn't able to put anything in my cart yet. I want to learn the system first before i commit my credit card number. I admit, i sounded cheap:)

At the end of this day, i expect to be able to place my order na. I'm starting to think of getting not just one book but three. Naku, i hope i won't be addicted to on-line purchasing:)

-chebong

cried a good cry

My husband and i received a letter from a very good friend, Mec. We found it waiting for us in our bedroom when we arrived home very early Sunday morning (3:00am). We came from a wake and we stopped by the new mall at the back of serendra fort for a cup of coffee at CB&TL so it was already very late when we got home.

At first i thought it was just a "thank you for your sympathy" thing since Mec's nephew passed away last December and we went to the wake. Then i noticed the picture... it was a very pregnant tummy with 2 sets of hands holding it. I looked at my husband who already knew what it means, he looked back at me tenderly. And i just started to cry... and cry... and cry. And Buboy just held me tight. He knew it's what i needed--to cry. He kept telling me he loves me. And i wanted to tell him i love you too and thank you for sharing my pain, instead, i said i'm sorry.

Mec is pregnant. And though i'm happy for my friend because she's been wanting to have a baby also, i felt sorry for myself because we still don't have our own miracle. But i will always appreciate how Mec broke the news. How she gave me a good cry:) Well, Mec and i cried together many times in the past because we know that sometimes people need to cry out their pain to start healing.

I do pray that Mec and her baby will be healthy and that my friend enjoys her pregnancy and not forget to wear sexy clothes as her tummy grows:) i love you friend!

And i love you so much Buboy! You are the best thing that ever happened to me. And no matter what happens, i will always be happy and grateful that i have you beside me.

-chebong

spiritual blessings

Just attended mass and with what happened to me this morning, i think it's just what i needed.

The priest said that during the lenten season (which will basically start next week, ash wednesday) God gives out a lot of blessings. And i started thinking about maybe God will finally allow me to win a lottery, or get a new job or better yet start a business, have a house and lot and a car (though the last two can wait). These are the things i've been dreaming about. These are the things i believe that would take care of all my problems. Hey, these are the things i need! the things everyone needs to enjoy life! Then the priest continued and said that God gives out not material blessings but spiritual blessings. And my spirit sank. Then i realized that's precisely the reason why i need God's spiritual blessings... especially now.

I used to be close to God, but then i started being busy and later on i'm just always tired... so tired that my prayers are becoming shorter every day--because i just got to have more sleep or more time to imagine what i want. I guess i need to slow down, look back and ask God to walk with me again.

-chebong

valentine dates

Yesterday was valentine's day. I wasn't expecting something from my husband because he doesn't believe in it. We never celebrated valentine's day, that is, until last night...

Unexpectedly, he took off from work at 6:00pm to pick me up from the office. This is unusual because he's been rendering overtime for 2 months now and he just can't leave work early. I was so ready to go home alone on a valentine's night when he called. Coming from Bulacan, he arrived in Makati 8:15pm already. He wanted to watch a movie, i said let's just eat. So we went to Fort Bonifacio and of course all the resto was full. Good thing ol' UCC, which is located far from the usual gimmick location at the Fort, is welcoming with just the usual load of people dining and having coffee. I know it's still not yet a valentine's date for my husband, just a night out with his misus, and it does not feel so much different from our usual dates. It's a bit disappointing because valentine's day has been sooo over-rated here in the Philippines that when I finally got to date on that day, I felt like: hey, i get this all the time... and we've had more romantic moments than this, much, much more:)

Well, my parents also went our last night. They double dated with our ninong and ninang sa kasal. These two couples had been going out almost every week! But I'm so glad that they are still enjoying each other, especially now that they're retired and they spend their days together alone in the house. I'm looking forward to retiring that way with my husband too:)

-chebong

time-off

Last weekend Buboy and i watched two movies: Night at the Museum and Apocalypto. Both are very good films, though i would not recommend the latter to someone with weak stomach.

After the two movies we had coffee at CB&TL. It's the first time we tried it because we're usually at UCC. They serve very good mocha latte, yum.yum. We just stayed at the coffee shop, talking about things;) and basically just spending the night together. We got home 3:00am. The following day, we slept half of the day away and watch dvd and read.

It just felt sooo good to be dating my husband again. You see, since November last year, he has been too busy with work. He leaves the house 5:30am and leaves work between 9:00pm to 10:pm. He still works half day during Saturdays and with the last Christmas season, it takes him half the afternoon to arrive home. So weekend for us is basically catching up... for sleep:)

Anyway, we're planning a big get-away-from-work-and-stress thing this summer and i can't wait!

-chebong

reunion

UST College of Science will have a reunion tomorrow and my college barkada and i will not be attending. Not that i mind, really, because i don't care much for reunions. I mean, i kept in touch with friends i really care about anyway. But we are all eager to visit our alma mater once again and i suggested doing it during the reunion so we can go inside the main building (our college building) and explore it's halls again. It's kinda hard to do that on an ordinary day kasi they won't let anyone in, kahit alumni. But then, most of us are not available so we decided to schedule another day to go back to UST.

I love UST and i'm proud to belong to the College of Science because it's kinda an elite college:) I had a lot of good memories of UST and had found a lot of very good friends there. I'm looking forward to visiting my alma mater with my friends again. Hopefully it'll be soon:)

-chebong

one kurl at a time

Starting a new blog here. I hope to be able to actively involve my husband. Anyway, unlike the first blog, this won't have a specific focus. It'll just be thoughts as they crossed our minds.

-chebong